Stalemate
by Wickedly Caskett
Summary: After a rough day on the job, Kate Beckett takes some time to think over her only options out of this and what she could possibly do. Based on Dial M for Mayor, definite, definite spoilers. Do not read if you haven't seen it yet! Don't blame me if you do.


She collapsed on her couch after putting her gun and the ring into the drawer, kicking off her heels in the process. She shoved her hair back wit her hands, sighing. Rough day. Alright, understatement of the century right there.

The case it just… it just became this choice between Castle and the job. It just… ugh. The mayor had refused to give his coat over, refused to cooperate. Under normal circumstances she would've, _should've_ just one through and gotten the warrant. Even just two years ago and she would have had no qualms about it. Well, maybe a few, but nowhere near as much as she had now. But… after all they'd been through at this point her heart refused to let her job just go through and do this without a fight.

If she went and got the warrant the media would get a hold of it, no question. That… that would mean Wheldon would be out of office for sure. No doubt about it. And if Wheldon was out of office, Castle was out of the precinct. Losing Castle… that was a price she was hardly willing to bear.

Gates had told her that duty… it often came at a cost. A silly, childish part of her that Castle seemed to awaken screamed Mulan at her. My duty is to my heart. Corny, yes, but oddly true. Or at least, it ought to be true. Then you wouldn't have all of these ridiculous conflicts.

After the Mayor had refused, she had… she had to get the warrant. It was what she had to do. Justice had to be served for Lauren it… it had to be. She couldn't let a whole family suffer because of her heart was having its own problems. That was just plain selfish. But. That stubborn little part of her refused to let her do it immediately. It kicked and screamed and hadn't let her do it. Just like when she had lied earlier that day to Gates about the City Hall connections.

For God's sake when was she going to stop lying because of Castle? First the gunshot, now lying to Gates… it just wasn't like her. Seriously. Two or so years ago? Never would've done that. Never.

They had fought too. After the mayor had refused. What did he expect her to do? Walk away from it like he had her do from her mom's case? No. She couldn't do that. What was she supposed to do? She didn't have a choice. It was her duty to do her job, not be a hopelessly lovestruck teenager refusing to let her boyfriend go.

Espo had reminded her earlier that if she moved against the Mayor… Castle would be gone. Period. That would be the end of Castle. No more crazy theories, no more coffee, no more piercing blue eyes, no more shadow… It would be like the summer he spent with Gina except with no hope of an ending. It had taken all of her strength to go and talk to Gates after that. All of that professionalism, everything she had built up over the years to separate herself from the cases, all of it. Because a move against the mayor meant no more of her writer.

Her writer? Where had that come from exactly? She groaned and she fell back against the pillows on her couch, holding her face in her hands. She'd have to make a choice at some point, that was clear enough. Maybe the only clear thing right now in a world of gray. There was no magical third way out that would just poof out of thin air, as far as she could see. It was either do her job and lose castle or keep castle and fail the city and Gates. All she could possibly do right now instead of making a decision was put it off until morning. Sleep on it, as they had joked about all that time ago before the shooting.

As she prepared for bed something nagged her at the back of her brain. Castle had seemed so hesitant, moreso than just worry for the Mayor. More than she could possibly conceive coming from that alone. That couldn't be all that worry was. Her cop sense taught her to know better than that. It was almost like he was fearful of what would happen if they pursued the case, like he was afraid of losing her somehow. Him getting kicked out of the precinct, the worry that that would happen couldn't be it though. He'd find some way to weasel back in, so what was it?

Her muscles began to protest her still standing up, and she fell onto her bed.

It could wait until morning.

.-

She awoke to her alarm clock, bright and early as usual. Went through her usual routine, picked out an outfit from her oddly vast array of clothing. She was a bit of a closeted fashionista at heart when it came to work clothes. She picked up her phone from where it was charging and it started ringing. Castle making some ridiculous face greeted her. He had demanded he be allowed to take the picture of him on her phone, you see.

Her thoughts were conflicted as she stared at the screen, letting it ring and ring and ring. To pick it up or not to pick it up, that was the question. She bit her lip as she waged a war in her head. Eventually her phone decided it had been long enough and let him go to voicemail. He left one. She listened to it on her way down to her building's lobby.

"Hey Beckett, it's Castle. I'm really; truly sorry about how I acted yesterday. It was ridiculous of me to say that and bias. I found something big connected to the case, and I promise I'm being completely objective this time. If you could meet me at Dial a Goddess I promise I will not be wasting your time. Hopefully see you there, and again I'm sorry."

She let her hand with the phone in it drop to her side. That man… They had both left so angry yesterday. And if he truly had found something… she shook her head and she walked out of her building to her car, hopping into it.

She couldn't apologize for doing her job, that was certain. But as Disney said, she owed some weird duty to that tantrum-ing part of her called her heart. To Castle.

Sighing, she turned up the street and towards Dial-A-Goddess.

Hopefully this wouldn't be a waste of her time.


End file.
